Archive for the ‘Dating Dementia’ Category

Dating Dementia

Monday, June 20th, 2005

Have you ever wondered what couples in long-term marriages know about keeping a relationship going and being happy? If so, you’re not alone. That is one of the questions that I hear on a daily basis, either from my individual clients or members of my groups and classes. Many of these men and woman are struggling with keeping a relationship going or suffering after one has ended. The National Center for Health Statistics reports that two million, two hundred and thirty thousand couples will marry this year. And of those marriages, the divorce rate will be 3.6 for every 1,000. When you look at the overall statistical difference between these and the rates reported in 1990, you would see a drop in the rate of divorce. However, if you were to look further you would also note the significant increase in the number of couples who chose to cohabitate prior to marriage in the hope that they could learn more about each other before tying the knot.

One would naturally assume that this would result in the decline in reported divorces. However, two things become quite evident upon reviewing the statistics. The first was reported by a study on cohabitation conducted by Rutgers University. That report showed that cohabitation before marriage didn’t decrease the potential for divorce but actually resulted in 85% of those couples who did marry, divorcing. Secondly,
what the statistics didn’t report were the number of couples who chose to live together as an alternative to marriage and then chose to separate without the need for a legal divorce. There have been numerous attempts to change these statistics that range from pre-marriage counseling by churches, counselors, and relationship coaches, marital counseling to improve at-risk marriages, public school courses to teach communication and conflict resolution skills, and even the introduction of the concept of “Covenant Marriage” that would make it more difficult to get into a marriage and to get out of an established one.

So what is wrong with this picture? What are we missing? My Dating Dementia course is an attempt to address this problem by giving men and women like yourself an opportunity to explore this further. And by doing so, it is my endeavor to help you increase your opportunity to have a healthier and happier relationship future.

I believe that in just ten weeks, individuals can get the guidance and support they need to venture deeply into relationship related information through lectures, reading and discussion that is so essential for any hope to turn these statistics around. It is my hope that individuals enjoy the journey as much as I do and, as a result, become motivated to begin to make small changes in how they approach those next
relationships.