In group, others may have experienced the same or similar experience and encourage you to move on after all “we did.” Often the victim may say “I want to,” or “I should, but I can’t.” What is happening here is that change is beginning to happen whether the individual is aware of it or not.
Change is a process. Whether it was chosen or it was thrust upon us it has brought within us another powerful word – pain. The next question may likely be “when will it go away?” Pain is similar to anger. We don’t like it, we don’t want it, but it tells us where we are and is an indicator of how far we have progressed in the process of “movin’ on.” Pain is inevitable in a breakup no matter who initiates it. Change occurs and pain diminishes when we learn to take charge of it. When the intellectual part of us takes charge and it becomes stronger, things begin to make sense, then the feelings which bring up the rear follow.
More often than not I can tell when a person is progressing by listening to them talk-often knowing they are changing before they do. Through the group process of Genesis, the educational process in the Rebuilding class, and the aftercare process found in Movin’ On or counseling, change can become exciting because it involves the most important, interesting, and fascinating person in your life –you! Working hard to climb the mountain becomes a reality. If your not there yet stick with it, it’s worth it. You are worth it.